A new path

Brecken will be starting preschool this week!  It's exciting, scary, promising, and anxiety-inducing all at once.  I know being in school 3 hours a day, 4 days a week will give her the time and attention she needs to progress even further.  But...3 hours a day, 4 days a week...in the afternoon, no napping anymore. She's still my baby. My heart trembles thinking of leaving her, my most special little girl, alone with strangers and not being there to take care of her every need like I have for the past 3.5 years.  I can't fathom how all of this will work out.  I'm just putting it in God's hands and asking for prayers.

The last few months have been good, for the most part.  Some weeks it seems like she is making huge gains and other weeks we don't see much change.  The truly good news is that she isn't regressing! She is definitely moving forward and making progress, even if it's small steps. Her diet is going well and the supplements she is taking are helping a lot.  Slow and steady is good, it's just s-l-o-w.  And the control freak in me wants immediate, miraculous, show stopping results NOW.  God and I talk about this a lot.  He's doing some refining in me that hurts. It hurts a lot. I don't like it and I let Him know every chance I get.  I dig in my heels, bury my head, and sob more nights than I care to count. Discouragement wants to overshadow my joy in all of Brecken's accomplishments, so I have to fight hard to lift my eyes to the only One who can win this war.  I've walked the road alone many years of my life and it doesn't lead anywhere happy. Lord, draw near and lead me gently.